The whore of the decade I mean week has decided to put her condo up for sale. Tiger Woods mistress can now move on up to the east side since rumor has it that ninja paid her a nice sum of cash to keep her mouth shut.
SELLAR: Rachel Uchitel
LOCATION: Turnberry Place, Las Vegas, NV
PRICE: $1,350,000
SIZE: 1,556 square feet, 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms
DESCRIPTION: Decorator furnished designer ground floor penthouse. 14 ft. ceilings and floor to ceiling windows. HUGE private terrace, approx. 1,700 sq. ft. with views of lush landscaping and Hilton neon sign. Private walk and entrance to pool. An entertainers dream!
Tiger's penthouse measures 1,556 square feet, has another 1,700-ish square feet of private terrace and includes 2 bedrooms and 2 poopers.
We don't have a clue if Miss Uchitel and her nice, gay decorator are the folks responsible for the chocolate and cream colored decorating scheme or if it was a previous owner who made the mistake of green-lighting the installation of that upsetting and decoratively undignified copper mosaic tiled wall in the living room. Making the deeply disturbing mosaic matters worse is the dizzying, puzzle-like shelving unit installed on top of that glimmery and shimmery wall, which might be appropriate for a nightclub but not, and I repeats, not for a private residence. Ever. To the living/dining room's credit, there is a fab 14-foot ceiling and a long wall of floor to ceiling glass.
The gore-may kitchen is open to the combination living/dining room and has an unfortunate view of that ridiculous tile situation. The angled, galley kitchen features flat fronted wood cabinetry with an unusual but kind of nice of moiré effect, speckled beige and chocolate brown granite counter tops, a breakfast bar perfect for guests to sit and imbibe booze while the hostess makes dinner, and a full suite of top notch appliances including a Sub-Zero fridge and a Gaggenau range top.
According to listing information, the second bedroom–currently containing an cargo-ship sized desk–has a "built-in Asian Cabana," whatever that is, and a back wall punished by a grid of nine mirrored squares on which drunken guests might choose to play tic-tac-toe with lipstick. The master bedroom, all fabric walls and mood lighting, has electronically controlled curtains–which I loves–and a biscuit and beige marble pooper with built in cabinetry, a jetted tub and a separate shower stall.
One of the better amenities of Miss Uchitel's "ground floor penthouse" is the tremendous 1,700-ish square foot terrace that provides private access to one of the complex's many swimming pools. Unfortunately the terrace appears to be little more than a sizable slab of poured concrete with a few pieces of outdoor furniture tucked up into the corner, but that's easily remedied by a smart landscape architect. Other tidbits and treats include a custom sound system, touch pad controlled lighting and dimmers, and flat screen boob-toobs in every room. The Turnberry Place complex offers residents secured grounds, a 24-hour doorman, limo and valet service, exercise facilities and a multiple swimming pools. The Stirling Club, located in the heart of the complex offers fine dining options to invited members and their guests only.
Miss Uchitel currently resides in New York City so it's unclear how much or how often she uses her Las Vegas crib. Frankly, the place looks like it was staged by Staging Lady in a Pink Toyota so we kinda doubt she camps out there at all anymore. But as y'all know, I don't know nuthin' from a coffee cup. So really, who knows? Or maybe, who cares?
Tiger Woods and his obviously hurt and angry wife Elin have been living behind the gates of the Isleworth Golf and Country Club in Windermere, FL while building a major modern manse on 12-ish waterfront acres on Jupiter Island's S. Beach Road that The Palm Beach Post's gossip Jose Lambiet cattily described as a cross between a "Motel 6 and a beachside nursing home." Amid new and scandalous reports that Mister Woods may have had as many as 10 mistresses, the New York Post reported that last week–somehow, in the midst of all this tabloid fury–Mrs. Woods paid $2,290,000 for a house on an island near Stockholm in her native Sweden.
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